Today was the first day of second semester and it went pretty well I must say. i have accounting with my love :D and many other fun people, then Peer helping with Sean and Cody, and Individuals and Families in a Diverse Society with Kirstyn. So not a bad semester. Better then Chris's (He has asses in most of his classes lol). So I feel kind of bad for him. You see nothing ever comes easy for Chris. Like nothing comes easy in life blah blah blah, but in his case its worse. I feel so bad for him sometimes, because there are some things that I just can't help him with, and I hate just sitting there and watching him suffer. Hopefully something good will come around for him because he definately deserves it. I just wish other people would realize it.
To add on to my worrying about Chris, I'm also worrying about Peer Helping. I'm really looking forward to it, but it is going to be my most challenging class.It is going to be such a challenge because it is all about leadership which includes a lot of public speaking (which absolutely TERRIFIES me), but I think that I will learn a lot of things from it, and hopefully improve myself in many ways.
Also, this semester is going to be pretty stressful because University letters are coming out starting today ! And I have no idea what I want to do. I guess where Chris and I get accepted will be the major deciding factor obv, but I'm just nervous about moving away if I have to. Its so crazy thinking about leaving my house, and my parents. like AHHH. I love my family, and I will be the only one who doesn't live in London if I live. Crazy Crazy things to think about right now.
It's actually exhausting to think about all of the big changes that are going to be going on in my life in the next few months, but I do know that whatever happens, I my family and Chris will be there through it all, and that is a very comforting thought <3
Tuesday
Monday
I Need To Get My Act Together
I need to get my act together like permanently.
I don't know what happened to me, but I am definately not the same person that I was a few years ago. I know that people 'grow up' and change. But I think that I have changed for the worst.
I am so antisocial these days. And its like I want to have good friends, but I'm just such an introvert that it is hard for me to make them. I don't know. Sometimes, I miss having the huge group of friends that I used to have, and sometimes I don't. I miss feeling like I belong in a group, and like I have people that I can go to. But I guess I put myself in the situation that I am in right now. I just can't seem to keep friends. I haven't figured out why yet. I'm probably too critical, or too boring (my favourite pass time is reading, not really a thing you can do in a group setting), and I never know the right things to say. I'm horrible at starting, and keeping conversations going. Add all of those factors up together, and it equals ALONE.
Now I'm not totally alone. I have Christopher, although I don't know for how long seeing as how I treat him like crap. He doesn't deserve that, I think that it may be me venting out all of mu frustrations on him, because he is the only one around, and I feel safe with him. But he doesn't deserve that shit. He never has deserved anything like that. I love him so much, I really do, but I just can't seem to stop myself from hurting him.
So that brings me to the fact that I really do have to get my act together. I have to do it for Chris, who is the greatest thing to ever walk into my life.
But I also have to do it for me. I don't like the person that I have become. I've spent too long feeling sorry for myself, and blaming others, but I've come to realize that I am the problem. I need the fixing, not anyone else.
So here it goes. Time to change, time to become a better person, time to get my act together, because if I don't, I will lose the love of my life, the few friends that I have now, and I will lose myself.
<3
It's time to get my act together
I don't know what happened to me, but I am definately not the same person that I was a few years ago. I know that people 'grow up' and change. But I think that I have changed for the worst.
I am so antisocial these days. And its like I want to have good friends, but I'm just such an introvert that it is hard for me to make them. I don't know. Sometimes, I miss having the huge group of friends that I used to have, and sometimes I don't. I miss feeling like I belong in a group, and like I have people that I can go to. But I guess I put myself in the situation that I am in right now. I just can't seem to keep friends. I haven't figured out why yet. I'm probably too critical, or too boring (my favourite pass time is reading, not really a thing you can do in a group setting), and I never know the right things to say. I'm horrible at starting, and keeping conversations going. Add all of those factors up together, and it equals ALONE.
Now I'm not totally alone. I have Christopher, although I don't know for how long seeing as how I treat him like crap. He doesn't deserve that, I think that it may be me venting out all of mu frustrations on him, because he is the only one around, and I feel safe with him. But he doesn't deserve that shit. He never has deserved anything like that. I love him so much, I really do, but I just can't seem to stop myself from hurting him.
So that brings me to the fact that I really do have to get my act together. I have to do it for Chris, who is the greatest thing to ever walk into my life.
But I also have to do it for me. I don't like the person that I have become. I've spent too long feeling sorry for myself, and blaming others, but I've come to realize that I am the problem. I need the fixing, not anyone else.
So here it goes. Time to change, time to become a better person, time to get my act together, because if I don't, I will lose the love of my life, the few friends that I have now, and I will lose myself.
<3
It's time to get my act together
Movie List - One Down.
Yesterday was movie day, and Chris and I checked one thing off of mine (I guess it's kind of 'our') list. We watched all of the X-Men movies ! And I loved them :) The last one was a bit jumpy though. And killing off everyone might not have been the best move, but overall it was a great movie.
I have decided that Storms powers are the ones that I would want the most. Because I could control the weather which would be pretty sweet, because the kind of weather I like doesn't come around too often (nice calm winter days with a little snow[this winter hasn't had many of those yet], and thunderstorms[which we don't get much here, and I'm always asleep when we do]) I think her powers are awesomeee !
I also liked the fact that they were dealing with the "cure" thing. It was a cool thing to add into the movie, but they could've made the movie a lot longer if they had;ve expanded the story. Which would've been nice.
Overall I loved all of the movies. And Chris and I had a good time watching them.
People probably HATE watching movies with Chris and I, because we feel the need to comment on like every little thing. Which is exactly what we did yesterday. My mom and dad were probably totally annoyed with us, because we almost never stopped talking. We just can't seem to not comment lol (if that sentence made any sense).
Yesterday, I also watched the Miss America Pageant ! (while Chris was gone for a bit). And it was good. Although I can't really believe that we still have pageants. I mean isn;t that a little sexist in some people's eyes(Now there is something that you should know about me, I don't really like/participate in this feminism thing. Not that I think we should go back to where women were in the kitchen, but I'm just not a feminist okey dokey). I loved the cheesy State intro's, some of them were hilarious. I wonder if they write them themselves. Probably not, but it would be cool if they did. I think that pageants would be kind of fun to participate in (if you went in with the right attitude). I mean you say something about yourself, you strut yourself in a bathing suit, then you put in a princess dress and walk across the stage. I know that it must be way harder then that, but I mean it could be a fun thing to do. lol.
I don't know what made yesterday so good. It could've been the fact that Chris and I didn't fight (well I shouldn't say that, I should say 'I wasn't trying to fight with Chris, because he hardly ever fights with me.' Or it could've been the great movies, or the good food (Angelo's meat pie, and greek pasta salad, and crazy bread from Little Cesars). MMMM. It was a pretty great dinner lol.
But whatever it was, I had a great day, and I hope that today is just as good.
Chris and I are going to watch the Lord of the Rings (start watching). They are some of my favourite movies :D So I'm pretty excited about that.
That is about all there is to say for right now. So I'm crossing my fingers hoping that today goes well (Isn't it sad that I have to do that?).
I have decided that Storms powers are the ones that I would want the most. Because I could control the weather which would be pretty sweet, because the kind of weather I like doesn't come around too often (nice calm winter days with a little snow[this winter hasn't had many of those yet], and thunderstorms[which we don't get much here, and I'm always asleep when we do]) I think her powers are awesomeee !
I also liked the fact that they were dealing with the "cure" thing. It was a cool thing to add into the movie, but they could've made the movie a lot longer if they had;ve expanded the story. Which would've been nice.
Overall I loved all of the movies. And Chris and I had a good time watching them.
People probably HATE watching movies with Chris and I, because we feel the need to comment on like every little thing. Which is exactly what we did yesterday. My mom and dad were probably totally annoyed with us, because we almost never stopped talking. We just can't seem to not comment lol (if that sentence made any sense).
Yesterday, I also watched the Miss America Pageant ! (while Chris was gone for a bit). And it was good. Although I can't really believe that we still have pageants. I mean isn;t that a little sexist in some people's eyes(Now there is something that you should know about me, I don't really like/participate in this feminism thing. Not that I think we should go back to where women were in the kitchen, but I'm just not a feminist okey dokey). I loved the cheesy State intro's, some of them were hilarious. I wonder if they write them themselves. Probably not, but it would be cool if they did. I think that pageants would be kind of fun to participate in (if you went in with the right attitude). I mean you say something about yourself, you strut yourself in a bathing suit, then you put in a princess dress and walk across the stage. I know that it must be way harder then that, but I mean it could be a fun thing to do. lol.
I don't know what made yesterday so good. It could've been the fact that Chris and I didn't fight (well I shouldn't say that, I should say 'I wasn't trying to fight with Chris, because he hardly ever fights with me.' Or it could've been the great movies, or the good food (Angelo's meat pie, and greek pasta salad, and crazy bread from Little Cesars). MMMM. It was a pretty great dinner lol.
But whatever it was, I had a great day, and I hope that today is just as good.
Chris and I are going to watch the Lord of the Rings (start watching). They are some of my favourite movies :D So I'm pretty excited about that.
That is about all there is to say for right now. So I'm crossing my fingers hoping that today goes well (Isn't it sad that I have to do that?).
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