The First Week

The first week of school has ended (finally). It was a pretty eventful week. I got into a couple of colleges. Which I am happy about, but I am waiting to get accepted or declined from university. Also, Chris got into college. It was my worst fear that he wouldn't get in, and when he told me that he did, I started to bawl my eyes out.
This week has made me really emotional. Probably because of the acceptance letters. It means that I don't have to stay in London. That my future is actually coming up, and I'm going to have to make some pretty big life decisions really soon. It scares me to think about it. I now have to get ready to move away from my home and my family and the city that I have lived in almost all of my life.
Starting fresh scares me. I'm comfortable right now, I know some people, I know how to get around my school, and I know this town.
Now I'm being thrust into a new situation, almost a new life. I awknowledge that it is a time of opportunity, and it could be amazing, but in the back of my pessemist mind, doubts are arising. What if I'm not good enough? What if I change my mind about what I want to do? What if I lose all of my money?
I always have doubts. It's like programmed into my brain. I am a pessemist.
But there is some hope. Sometimes I believe in myself. Sometimes I believe that I will make the right decisions. Sometimes I believe that this life is the life that I am supposed to be living. But only sometimes.